“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Recently, a friend and I were talking about someone who had severely hurt me, and she asked, “Don’t you hate him?” I truthfully replied, “Not at all.” Let me share with you why it is so important to choose love and understanding over hate when someone has hurt you.
1. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
There are so many better ways to use your time, especially if you are as busy as I am. Use your free time to think about important and positive things like a career goal, a book you are reading, or what you could do nice for someone today.
2. Hating people sucks your energy and weighs you down.
It takes effort to keep thinking about how upset you are at someone and talking about it over and over to your friends. Think about negativity as a parachute attached to your back. Every time you try to move forward, it catches the air, pulls you back, and slows you down. Free yourself! Instead of feeling upset about someone who just brings negativity to your life, you could be putting your energy into relationships with people who truly care about you.
3. Hating someone isn’t hurting him or her—it’s only hurting you.
Your being angry has no effect on someone else whatsoever, but it is making you frustrated, distracted, obsessive, and negative. Moreover, your continuing to be upset isn’t moving the situation toward a resolution.
4. Sometimes, someone didn’t actually hurt you: you just don’t like what happened.
For example, so many times I have seen a guy not want to date a girl, and suddenly the guy becomes this monster. She and her friends call him a bunch of awful names and pick apart his flaws. Maybe that guy truly did things to justify feeling hurt, BUT you can’t get mad at someone just because he or she doesn’t want to date you. That doesn’t make him a bad person. Next time when you have a strong emotional reaction, take five minutes to think about what you are truly feeling and what caused you to feel that way. Are you upset, or are you actually disappointed, scared, jealous, or feeling attacked?
Make love a habit. Come back for part two, which will be up in the next few days!